1. Positive Body Language- Introduction

This tutorial delineates the fact theta body language plays a vital role in our day-to-day activities and relationship with others. Proper body language is required for building a good rapport and developing good relationship with our friends, colleagues, and family members. If we don’t follow the rules of good body language, our repute and chances of landing into better opportunities can reduce drastically.
Improper body language leads to ruined interviews, wrong first impression, and conveyance of wrong messages. This tutorial details certain tips and techniques to develop a positive body language and to project oneself in public in a more confident and elegant manner.
Body language is not just about hand or leg movements, but also about how we conduct ourselves when we are at rest. Hence, positive body language is a must for not only interviews or formal discussions but also for functions, parties, and knew of meetings or interaction we are involved in on a daily basis.

  • Audience

This tutorial is aimed towards people who are in college or are about to join the corporate sector and also for those professionals working in any different organizations. Individuals who have no knowledge on proper body language can benefit from this tutorial.

  • Prerequisites

There are no prerequisites for this tutorial. Similarly, there is no barrier of language or ethnicity for gaining benefit from this tutorial.

  •  Body Language

Body language is defined as the non-verbal communication between two individuals or a group of individuals through physical behaviors such as limb movements, facial expressions, eye movements, other bodily gestures and postures.
Body language come into a picture not only during normal conversations, but also during formal discussions, interviews, group’s discussions, panel meetings, etc. Proper body language not only conveys the right message to the recipient, but also attracts or repels the recipient.
Body language is different from sign language. In sign language, words or information is conveyed voluntarily using hand and finger movements. In sign language, lips, finger, palm and eye movements are used to convey information to the recipient of the information. However, body language is largely involuntary and is not actively controlled by the mind. However, sign language is voluntary and are controlled by the mind to convey information.

  • What is body language?

Following are the important features of body language-

  1. It is a set of involuntary actions of the body parts.

  2. It involves movements, especially of the limbs and the head.

  3. Is does not have grammar.

  4. It has to be interpreted broadly by other people.

  •  What is sign language?

Following are the important features of sign language-

  1. It is not the deliberate movement of body parts to convey information. It is hence, not a voluntary action of body parts.

  2. It has its own grammar.

  3. It has absolute meaning, instead of subjective meaning.

However, this does not mean that if body language is involuntary, it cannot be controlled. By practicing certain techniques mentioned in this tutorial and through carefully evaluation of one’s body movements each time, one can improve one’s body language easily.

Body language is quite particular to a specific culture. What is accepted in one culture may be big ‘No’ in other cultures. Hence. Body language is not universal and can be ambiguous too. This tutorial will teach you the essentials of good body language

2. Good Standing Postures

Most of the times when we meet people, we are standing in front of them. Be it a casual meeting on the roadside or meeting someone in the office or having a conversation with a friend at a party, many of the conversations in our life happens in a standing position.
Following are the important postures to look while standing and having a conversation

Rule: 1 Stand Erect: – The first point is to keep in mind is to stand with the spine erect. The back, must be straight as this gives an impression of being tall. A taller appearance creates a good impression as well. Bad standing postures also symbolized low self-esteem. This is not a good attribute to sport while standing.
Rule 2: Face the Person: – The second point to remember is to not to face sideways from the listener. Try to stand facing the person who you are communicating with. Standing sideways shows that person don’t want to communicate with. Watch out for the same signals from the other person as well. If that person is standing sideways, please stop the conversation as soon as possible. This is because the other person is not interested in the conversation.
Rule 3: Free you’re Hand: – The third point to be careful about is to not t put your hands inside your pockets, while talking to someone. This posture shows disrespect. Keeping hands inside pocket show that a person is not interested to talk. Remember that arms are the vocal cord of body language and can speak volumes about your attitude and interest.
Rule 4: Look into the Eyes: – The fourth point to be careful about is to look into the eyes of the other person without intimidating him or her. If you keep looking away from the person, it will show lack of interest in the conversation on your part. Keep looking for these signs in the other person too. Perhaps, the other person is looking away from you for most of the time. That will mean that the person is not engrossed in you and hence, it is better to let the person go.
Rule 5: Move, Yet Mind Your Limbs: – Last but not least; it is okay to have some limb movements. Moving hands to a certain extent shows your interest in the conversation and your excitement levels too. Don’t fret too much with hands, and try to keep your palms open. You should also stand with your legs apart. Don’t fiddle with your nose using your fingers because that symbolize shyness and lack of confidence. Moreover, the legs must not be crossed. Crossed legs signify uncertainty and closed nature.

3. Good Sitting Postures

A lot of conversations happen while sitting as well. Job interview, group discussions, or even candid talk with friends happen a lot while sitting in a restaurant, café or library. A lot of attention needs to be given to body language while having a conversation in the sitting position.

Rule 1: Face the Person: – Always face towards the other person while speaking. Like in standing posture, here too, try to face your heart towards the heart of others person. Don’t sit sideways unless necessary.
Rule 2: Look into the Eyes: – The second point is to maintain direct eye contact with others person. Look into the eyes of the other person without intimidating him or her.
Rule 3: Mind your Legs: – The third point to focus on is the movement of legs. Since legs are far away from our eyes, we usually forget to keep the legs in check. Too much leg movement is not good sign. Juggling of the legs show lack of interest in the ongoing activity and a longing to escape from it.
Rule 4: Scream of Importance: – While sitting during any conversation, don’t restrict your legs to a small space.
Try to spread out your legs a little. It shows that you occupy some space and that you are in change.
During group discussions, it is bad gestures for a man to keep one’s legs crossed. However, ladies can sit with
legs crossed without issue. During interviews, it is preferred to sit with uncrossed legs as it signifies openness
and acceptance.

4. The Proper Handshake

Handshake are an indispensable part of our lives. Day in and day out, we meet friends and colleagues with whom we are supposed to shake hands. Handshake are as old as the human civilization. In roman times, the practice of lower arm grasp was followed as a way to check if the other person has concealed a dagger under the sleeves. Slowly, this converted to a from of common greeting and then, it eventually turned into the modern-day handshake.
A handshake should not convey dominance or submission. What it should actually show is equality. Let’s take a quick look at some of the common handshake customs around the world and their features.

  1. The Equality Handshake: – Whenever you shake hands, it’s interpreted as a subtle symbolic power struggled between you and the other person. In short, the palm of either of those involved in the handshakes must neither be facing down nor facing up. For a proper handshake, the palms of both the individuals must be in vertical position. Then, both the people must apply the same pressure. If you find that the pressure you are applying is greater or lesser than the other person, then you need to modulate your pressure accordingly

  2. The Submissive Handshake: – The submissive handshake happens when your palm in facing up and is below the palm of the other person. This is called “palm up trust”. This makes you look submissive. Don’t let the other person get an upper hand at the handshake.

  3. The Dominant Handshake: – The opposite of submissive handshake is the dominant handshake. This happens when you place a palm your arm above the palm of the other person and hence, your palm is facing down. This is called “palm down trust”. This handshake conveys authority and dominance on your part. Don’t let the world think that you are submissive just because your palms are placed over the palm of the other person.

  4. The Bone Breaker Handshake: – In the bon breaker handshake, the person giving this handshake grips the hand of the other person and grinds it with his hands. This handshake signifies aggressive personality and should not be used at all.

5. Pleasant Facial Expressions

Facial expressions do a majority of the task of conveying information to the other person. An average person may not be able to read the body language of legs or arms. But almost everyone can read the signals displayed on the face of a person. Therefore, it’s of high importance that we maintain a good and acceptable facial expression, lest we are hated by everyone for being non-approachable.
The first expression that everyone looks for in a person is the smile. Smile can be rejuvenating, yet deceptive at the same time. A woman with a tight-lipped smile that reveals no teeth is actually symbolic of her lack of interest in the conversation, although it may seem to an average person that she is engrossed in the ongoing talk.

  • An Original Smile Vs. a Fake Smile

There are many traits of an original smile. Whenever a person smiles naturally, without any voluntary force, wrinkles are created around the eyes. This is because in an original smile, the lip corner are pulled up and the muscles around the eyes are contracted. In a fake smile, only lip movements happen. People giving fake smile only through their mouth and not eyes.
However, what if the person who you are talking to tires to produce a fake smile by wrinkling his or her eyes voluntarily? There is a trick to identify this as well.

Fake Smile

There is one more way to detect false smiles. When a persons tries to fake a smile, the right hemisphere of the brain- the one specializing in facial expressions-sends signals only to the left side of the body. Hence, a fake smile will always be stronger on one side and weaker on the other side. However in a genuine smile, both parts of the brain send signals and hence, the smile is equally strong on both the sides.
If the person’s eyes are looking away from you, then you must realize that the person is bored of you and it’s better to either change the topic of discussion or leave. However, if the lips are slightly pressed, the eyebrows are raised and there is a steady gaze of eyes at you along with the head erect or slightly pushed forward, then this implies interest of the person in you.

6. Voice Control

The way you talk to others matter a lot in building a rapport with them. To look civilized and to also generate interest in other people, it is required for a person to master the following fundamentals-
 Pace
 Pause
 Pitch
The voluntary variation of these parameter is called the “voice modulation”. Pace is the number of words being spoken per unit of time, like number of word per minute. Pause is the number of seconds or any other unit of time that appears between two words or two phrases or two sentences. Pitch is the rate of vibration or the frequency of the sound wave. Voice modulation helps to make use of all the three parameters and blend them
to make an adorable voice

 Pace
To have a good voice, one needs to have an appropriate pace at which one speaks. Pace is subjective. What is required is that each and every word must be clear when spoken and must not wrap over the previous or the next word.

 Pause
A pause of 2seconds is called a short pause. A pause of more than 2seconds is considered to be a long pause. Pauses can play a significant role in driving a point and also to bring humor. The speaker must give a pause of 2seconds after every sentence. A comma is equivalent of 2 quick count, a semi-colon is equivalent of 2 quick counts and a period is equivalent of 3 quick counts. This is the way a person must manage the pauses between his words, phrases, and sentences.

 Pitch
Pitch has to be such that the voice appears pleasant to the ears. Too low a pitch and too high a pitch are never liked by people. Whenever something serious or tragic is being spoken about, the pitch must be low. The things that are associated with joy or surprise can be spoken about in a high-pitched tone. The loudness of the person must match the loudness of the other person involved in speaking in a low volume, it is unwise to keep the volume high then.
Putting some pressure over the words and syllables helps to give importance to those words and helps to
carve out the meaning of the words effectively

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