1. Learn Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem is the measure of a person’s own worth. It’s a self-evaluation of the attitude a person has towards himself. Self-Esteem encompasses beliefs. Evaluations. Judgements, and varied emotions. Self Esteem is the value you place on yourself after judging and defining your beliefs. Self-Esteem encompasses both belief (I am an efficient manager). And emotions (victory, grief).

  • Audience

    This tutorial is designed primarily for young adults and professionals who work in demanding schedules and feel the need to analyze their thoughts to gain confidence.

  • Prerequisites

    Before proceeding with this tutorial, you are expected to be honest and willing to recall past incidents, to look at them objectively and learn from simulation.

2. Individual Assignment

Low Self-Esteem is the result of a long chain of events, incidents, beliefs, and self-criticisms that are not easy to let go of. Here we will see how affirmations can be useful as a cure for low Self-Esteem. According to experts, Self-Esteem can be broadly divided into two kinds-

  • Global Self-Esteem- This is a fixed self-assessment of how we view ourselves in relation to the environment we live and work in.

  • Situational Self-Esteem- This is a self-assessment on what we do, how we perform a task, and how much appreciation or criticism we get on our results. Depending on these responsibilities and circumstances, Self-Esteem fluctuates from high (while getting praise) to low (while facing criticism).

  • Affirmations

Affirmations are encouraging statements about yourself that are either true or have a strong possibility of being true. Affirmative thinking helps to stop negative self-talk and increase Self-Esteem. A does of affirmative self-talk every day can ingrain them as your feelings and beliefs

  • Self-Esteem Values

Using affirmative to replace negative thoughts like “I am useless at this job.” With “I might make mistakes but I will learn fast.” Not only counters negative thoughts but also makes this positive thinking a part of your thought process.
Counter any negative thoughts coming to your mind when in an unfavorable situation, by giving yourself a positive message. The following affirmations can help you to work toward building a positive self-image-

  • People respect me.

  • People enjoy my company.

  • I am confident of my skills.

  • I am caring and my family loves me.

  • I can handle relationships and work well.

  • I am friendly and give positive vibes.

  • I love the way I am.

  • I love the way I look.

3. Positive Self-Esteem

People with high Self-Esteem acknowledge their strengths and apply in their daily life. At same time, they are aware of their weakness and address them with a positive approach. In other words, people with high Self-Esteem know themselves well. This helps them in being realistic in their expectations which puts them in firm control of their lives.
Improving your self-worth isn’t an instant result, it’s a process that takes time, practice, and a lot of introspection. It’s all about learning how to respect yourself and requesting that from others you work with. Let’s see how the people with high Self-Esteem think.
People with a Positive Self-Esteem exhibit the following qualities-

  • Confidence

  • Problem-Solving

  • No Blaming others for their failures

  • Being Trustworthy and Trusting others too

  • Know and Control the Direction of their Life

  • The ability to say ‘No’ to something they don’t like

  • An awareness of strengths and areas of improvement

  • Understanding when others Mistakes and Accepting

  • Knowing Personal Boundaries and Respecting those of others

It’s this positive thinking that gives confident people a positive self-concept, which enables them to see themselves honestly which helps them in getting rid of pre-conceived negative ideas about themselves.

4. Negative Self-Esteem

People having a very critical opinion of themselves tend to under-appreciate even the good efforts they
have put in, and views even genuine praise as flattery. This undermining of one own talent and hard-work
leads to treat you the same way.
There is an old saying that everybody treats you the way you treat yourself. If you don’t take yourself seriously, there is very little chance of others doing so. We have listed some of the most-widely observed qualities with low self-esteem.
People with a Negative Self-Esteem exhibit the following qualities-

  • Crave Performance

  • Fear of being Ridiculed

  • Blaming others for Failure

  • Fear of Exploring New Ventures

  • Very Self-Critical and Self-effacing

  • Feeling unaffectionate towards others

  • Fighting with a sense of Worthlessness

  • Not Trusting even close friends and relatives

  • Negative attitude and pessimistic view of life

5. Lack of Self-Esteem

It was previously thought that people with low-esteem can be made to think positively by praising them in public and speaking highly of them. However, it was later discovered that this actually resulted in even Lower Self-Esteem among the people, as they now had to deal with the added pressure of producing high quality output too.
As mentioned earlier, people with low-esteem tend to judge even genuine praise as mere flattery, as they themselves conclude that their efforts are way below expectations and hence, not praise worthy.

  • Lack of Self-Esteem and its Causes

Low Self-Esteem forms over a period of time by negative experiences like criticism, teasing, and failure in the
fields of performance, race, education, and relationships.
As with Low Self-Esteem, Positive Self-Esteem can only grow with time and needs to be substantiated with
real occurrences, facts, and achievements. Telling a stranger, you are a great performer or they must be proud of you never works.
It’s advised to praise someone only when they themselves are willing to acknowledge that they have put in hard work and are getting a well-deserved compliment.

6. Building Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem involves believing in one’s own abilities and depending on them to provide desirable results. It
includes having confidence in yourself and appreciating the output of your hard work.
Many people think that are gaining Self-Esteem needs you to attend special sessions or get therapies. However, that might not always be the case. Of course, there will always be a few people who feel terribly bad about themselves and might need medical intervention. However, that’s more an exception than a rule.
By and large, one does not need to follow any specific set of instructions or practices to build Self-Esteem. It can be enhanced by simple observations and practices that include small changes in behavior and daily routine

  • Steps to Building Self-Esteem

    One can build a Positive Self-Esteem by practicing a few simple steps-

  • Meet new people.

  • Send positive and friendly vibes to people you interact with

  • Spot good qualities in people close to you

  • Tend to your needs and wants

  • Eat healthy food and maintain a proper diet

  • Indulge in pleasurable activities

  • Try and finish a task that you have stalled for long

  • Take part in activities that need your skills

  • Use assertive sentences like I am good to build Self-Esteem

  • Spend time with people whose company you enjoy

  • Display items around you that remind you of your achievements

  • Learn something new to improve your skills

  • Read on something you like before going to sleep every night.

7. Spotting Positive Behavior

To help you make a list of your positive qualities, ask yourself the following questions-

  1. What do others like about me?

  2. What bad qualities I don’t have?

  3. What are my greatest strengths?

  4. What challenges have I overcome?

  5. What are my biggest achievements?

  6. What are my positive characteristics?

  7. What do I like the most about myself?

  8. What qualities do I share with my idols?

  9. What are the moments that give me happiness?

  10. What someone who knows me will tell about me?

8. Measuring Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem might appear as an intangible attribute, but there are techniques available to measures its intensity!

  • Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale is a popular tool to measure Self-Esteem. It is widely used in social-science research.

    Read the sentences and rate them on a scale of 0 to 3 according to your agreement to them. If the total is below 15, you need to work on improving and increasing your Self- Esteem.

 Strongly agree- 3
 Agree- 2
 Disagree- 1


  1. I feel I am not good.

  2. I am satisfied in life.

  3. I have good qualities.

  4. I am a worthy person.

  5. I feel useless at times.

  6. I feel like a failure sometimes.

  7. I am not very proud of myself.

  8. I wish I had more self-respect.

  9. I do things as well as most can.

  10. I have a very positive attitude.

9. Pleasurable Activities

Every person has something that he loves to do. We might call it a hobby, but it need not be an activity all the time. Indulging in pleasurable activities is a great way of building positive self-esteem. Not only does it give you understand the fact that life’s not so miserable, after all.
Here is a list of pleasurable activities that you may indulge in. mind you, this list is not comprehensive by any means!

  • Collecting things

  • Taking long rides

  • Debating

  • Playing computer games

  • Shopping

  • Playing cricket

  • Dressing up and looking nice

  • Meditating

  • Going on a picnic

  • Writing diary entries or letters

  • Rearranging furniture in house

  • Photography

  • Gardening

  • Exchanging, E-mails, Chatting

  • Writing books (poems, articles)

  • Going out to dinner

  • Playing musical instruments

  • Cooking, baking

  • Driving

  • Entertaining

  • Sketching, painting

  • Sleeping

  • Going to the beach

  • Having discussions with friends

  • Having family get-together

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